dressed in a suit comes up to the front porch of house juggling
a clipboard, some papers, and a briefcase.
on the door and it's answered by a middle-aged man, "Mornin'
stranger, what can I do for ya?"
sir, I represent Schneller, Barnum, and Holtz.
by private companies to canvas thousands of consumers like
yourself for feedback on their products.
soliciting comments on Vaseline petroleum jelly.
have time to answer just a couple of questions?"
see how a couple of questions could hurt, fire away young
man", says the homeowner.
down at his clipboard, the survey-taker asks, "Okay...first,
you do use Vaseline, correct?".
sir, for as long as I can remember."
now what exactly do you use it for?" replies the survey-taker
with his pen poised over his clipboard, ready to record
see...we use it for dry skin, chapped lips, and sex."
man stops writing abruptly. He looks around, leans forward
and in a low voice says "We pride ourselves in being
very thorough sir. I know how you'd use Vaseline for dry
skin and chapped lips. But would you mind telling me how
you use it for sex?"
problem," the homeowner says in a whisper, "we
put it on our bedroom doorknob. It keeps the kids out."